dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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