I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
