I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
