never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
