needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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