Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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