your room smells of hookers.
And success
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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