ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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