i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
