Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
