Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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