but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
