I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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