I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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