why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
