I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
