I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize