I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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