He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
