i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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