I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you never un-have a 4some
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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