if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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