They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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