The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
