i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
