I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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