Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
