and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She needs sedatives and a leash
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
