NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
