i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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