how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
