doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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