You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
