doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
