a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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