I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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