Will you blow on my dice?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she woke up with a sticky ear
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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