Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize