Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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