I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
