Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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