I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
