so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
