She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What a dumb baby whore.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
