I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
