this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
4 words: hood of his car
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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