i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
