sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The air was thick with penises
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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