im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
