There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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