Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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