that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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