I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
