What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
