bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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