Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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